WERE YOU, IF FACT, CRAZY?
I felt invincible, like i had nothing to lose. I'd been working on music since my teens, IT was exciting to have crowds. IT was like getting out of the box and showing them something - probably too much energy. I learned to dignify it. At some point, you dont want to be know as Diving boy, the flying Squirrell
WHAT WAS THE FIRST ROCK CONCERT YOU SAW
My uncle took me: Springsteen at the Auditorium Theatre (chicago 77) in the last row. it was a vinyl seat with the hay coming out of it. i thought it was the greatest thing of my life. it was really long show, but i didn't want to leave. When all the lights came u, some people were still there, and i though "he might still come out, right? How cool would that be if he played for just the fifteen people here?" i sat there for a half - hour waiting.
I used to take the tape recorders into shows and tape them. I was mugged once on a train, the Howard El in Chicago, on my way to work, waiting tables. I got kicked in the head, bloodied and they stole this little pack i had. I had a perfect tape of THE RIVER tour - one of those few tapes where you didn't miss a song or an intro - and that was gone [sighs] thts when i broke down.
I came home, all rattled and battered. i was living with my mother and 4 brothers in a tiny apartment. my mom and little brother were sitting at this picnic table we had in the kitchen and my mom says, "whats the matter? are you on drugs?" and she hauls back and whacks me across the face{laughs) it was one of the worst days of my life. "can this get any more bizarre?"
But my mom's a strong woman. she raised four of us with nothing. we had some stuff for a while. my {stepdad} was an attorney. I was feeling semi-privileged. then things fell apart when i was 16. I was real resentful at the time. but in the end, it gave me better values and a strong work ethic.
YET AT THE HEIGHT OF PEAR JAMS SUCCESS, IN THE MID 1990'S YOU GOT PEGGED AS THE ARCHETYPAL, WHINING ROCK STAR: "I DONT LIKE THIS, I WONT DO THAT." in A RECENT INTERVIEW, JEFF SAID HE CONSIDERED QUITTING HTE BAND AT THE TIME OF NO CODE, BECAUSE "IT WAS KIND OF ED'S BAND"
you know, i just heard that. i didn't feel that way, but thats typical of a control freak {laughs}. I was just trying to make the msic i wanted to be making. I remember wanting everything to be faster. "spin the black circle" - stone gave me a tape with this riff {hums it at a slow speed}. I had a speed control on my machine. i speeded it up, came back and said, can we do it this way?
I dont think that was a control thing. what i might have been guilty of is feeling tht i got more criticism that anyone else in the band, because i wsa the face put on it. I might've been more sensitive that the group be something i could be really proud of. the ype of that time, of seattles music- it had tangible effects on everyones lives, kurt being the most extreme example. he was a fragile individual as well, but that was a lot to cope with. I was freaked out.
I'd come from working solid jobs for eight or ten years straight: security at a gas station, security at a hotel, i was a waiter, did construction. I would work at a local club, loading in gear for no pay, because you wouldn't have to pay to get into the show. I was based in that reality. A Time magazine cover with me on it - thats not real.
WHEN TIME PUT YOU ON THE COVER, IN 1993, WHY DIDN'T YOU ENJOY IT?
One of the reasons i was upset was because Kurt and i had talked about it. It was one of our few phone calls. They wanted to do interviews with us. We talked about whether Time was co-opting our thing, and we both decided not to do interviews. They put me on the cover anyway. I was like "oh, man, i hope Kurt's not pissed about this."
hE TOOK A LOT OF SHOTS AT PEARL JAM IN THE PRESS FOR BEING A CORPORATE ROCK BAND. hOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THE RELATIONSHIP YOU REALLY HAD WITH HIM?
Small, I'm glad there were a few times we had together, one in particular. Eric Clapton was playing "tears in heaven" at the MTV Awards (1992), and we slow danced underneath the stage. I'm glad i got that moment with him. I had so much respect for him. I ws trying to stay out of the fray, so it was kind of up to him to lay down his arms. So that was symbolic for me.
HE DID NOT SURVIVE THE HYPE AND STARDOM, YOU DID, WHY?
I cant imagine going through that with a physical addiction. I would zombie out, become super-withdrawn. I imagine he ahd teh same thing going on, but he had a whole other physical issue to deal with, I could barely keep things together strait. I couldn't image doing it the other way. After denmark, my brain will barely allow me to smoke pot anymore. i cant keep it from going to dark places.
YOU REFER TO THE FANS CRUSHED IN THE MOSH PIT DURING YOUR SHOW AT THE ROSKILDE FESTIVAL IN 200 ON RIOT ACT(LOVE BOAT CAPTAIN) BUT YOU HAVE NOT SPOKEN PUBLICLY ABOUT WHAT YOU SAW THAT NIGHT. WHEN DID YOU REALIZE PEOPLE WERE DYING IN FRONT OF YOU?
the second they were pulled from the front. it was chaos. some people were yelling, "thank you!" others who weren't in bad shape, were running up and saying hi {shakes his head in disbelief}. THen someone was ulled over, laid out and they were blue. WE knew immediately it had gone to that other level.
There were still 40,000 people out there; they were ready for the show to start again. They started singing "I'm still alive." "Alive" was going to be the next song. That was when my brain clicked a switch. I knew i would never be the same.
DID YOU CONSIDER ENDING THE BAND?
THis is hard. {long pause} We came together as close as we could. People handled it in different ways. THe guys whose gereral disposition is more emotional, they became more composed. Whereas some of the people who are more conservative with their emotions - they kind of cracked. Stone became the most affected by it. Stone was ready to close up shop. And i thought that if anyone ever lost their lives at one of our shows, that would be it. I would never play again.
BUT A MONTH LATER, YOU WERE ONSTAGE IN VIRGINIA BEACH OPENING A US TOUR
Playing, facing crowds, being together- it enabled us to start processing it. I had written "i am mine" the night before - "we're safe tonight" to reassure myself that this is going to be alright.
But the killer was Sonic Youth opening for us. That sealed it; the power and majestic beauty of their sound and the people they are. And Thurston and Kim have a daughter, Coco, who took a shine to me. She didn't know what happened; there was no need for her to know. But she would bring me a acard she drew flowers with smiley faces, and she would say she and i were the two flowers {laughs}. When she's in her twenties, I'll tell her how much that meant to me.
RS: Given the media mauling you got for the Bush mask in Denver, how do you feel about the way Pete Townshend, a friend, was treated in the press after he was arrested for downloading child porn?
EV: He had written a piece called "A Different Bomb" on his Web site: I read last November. I was so upset by what he described: the access to child pornography, what kind of images are there. The second I heard of his arrest, I knew what his stand was.
The hard thing was to see the press pin that scarlet letter on him: "rock -star pedophile." So many of the benefits we have worked on together had to do with children: orphanages in Chicago, teenage cancer units in London. He doesn't just show up and play. He does research. To see that turned around- it was sickening. Then he was let off with a coution. Someone gave me a printed fax of it. I didn't read it in any paper.
RS: Have you talked to Pete about this? Do you think this will be a blot on his legacy?
EV: I checked in through friends and people he works with. If anybody in the world can take this and turn it into a positive, with eloquence, he can. Because Pete Townshend could tell everyone to fuck off and live on a sailboat in the Bahamas for the rest of his life. He doesn't have to worry about these issues if he doesn't want to.
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